Post - dealing with people

advice on how to systematically deal with people

advice on how to systematically deal with people

starting a conversation

  • relate
    • but try not to get to repetitive
    • while in conversation can probe for further talking points
  • questions
    • not too direct
    • relaxed tone
    • if responses ask follow up questions, less yes/no answers
    • can share same info after a follow up question, making it easier for them to ask questions
    • if quick short answers, person is likely doesnt want to talk
  • body language
    • become more approachable by smiling
    • make eye contact
      • if the person ignores eye contact, its likely they dont want to talk
      • sit infront of the person you want to talk to
    • other signs they dont want to talk
      • feet facing away

dealing with anger

Its natural for people to get angry and most people will struggle to deal with their anger, espically if they are already having a bad day. And that anger can spread creating a depressing environment. Its important to be able to calm someone down, this will stop them losing their job.

  • methods
    • divert attention from problem
    • calm solution to problem, if problem quickly solveable
    • offer a break, convince person to take break early
    • offer to talk if over
      • reduce counter attacks that may raise anger
    • find the source of anger
      • if you are the source of anger and its a minor problem, be sorry but try to remind them that they could lose their job in future
      • conflict between two people, try not to confront them both in public with a lack of info, suggest a possible solution to each person or remind them what really matters
      • if you are angry dont lash out, being angry will reduce performance and make it more difficult to solve to situation without more unwanted trouble

taking ideas from workers

  • if complaints try to clarify specifics
    • if its personal or conflict with anouther specific person/group, ask for permission to ask others first
    • dont pry to much, or may get exclued from the problem
  • get opinions of the problem from other workers
  • if small solve the problem yourself, otherwise take to management

persuading people to do something

It can be diffcult to convince someone to do a task, even if that task needs to be done for that individuals good.

  • persuade them over telling them

    espically effective if you are younger or if you have the same/lower position, as people stick to their pride

    • ask them to do it
    • start the task yourself
      • this way if the person is afraid to do the task they can follow your lead
      • shows that you dont hold yourself high enougth to not do the task
  • change persons perception of the task

    • give hints on how to complete the task easier
      • avoid too much info, seem like a rude know it all or confuse them
    • make the task seem easier this is to avoid an overwhelming hill, giving someone a list of long/difficult problems is very likely to de-motivate
      • break up the task into smaller manageable chunks
      • progessively disclosure advanced parts of the task
    • track progression
    • share the tasks purpose
    • rewards
      • highlight the process over the reward
      • avoid rewards separate from the activity itself

        this can reduce a persons desire to do something for the sake of of doing it, but can be effective if the activity is infrequent and boring

raise motivation

  • avoid pessimisum
    • encouraging statements on how things may get better
    • try and instead get people to work together to come up with a solution
  • own motivation
    • motivating yourself, just getting a jolt of motivation is unlikely to work in the long term
    • external motivation: add an external factor that makes it harder to not do what you need to do, EG commit with money or tell people
    • discipline: strong mind and conviction, setting a minimum standard for what you have to do, EG always get up after alarm clock

this article is incomplete and still has improvements to be made

Ethan Hullett

Ethan Hullett
Student at Kent University