Post - dealing with people

advice on how to systematically deal with people

starting a conversation

• relate
  • but try not to get to repetitive
  • while in conversation can probe for further talking points
• questions
  • not too direct
  • relaxed tone
  • if responses ask follow up questions, less yes/no answers
  • can share same info after a follow up question, making it easier for them to ask questions
  • if quick short answers, person is likely doesnt want to talk
• body language
  • become more approachable by smiling
  • make eye contact
    • if the person ignores eye contact, its likely they dont want to talk
    • sit infront of the person you want to talk to
  • other signs they dont want to talk
    • feet facing away

dealing with anger

Its natural for people to get angry and most people will struggle to deal with their anger, espically if they are already having a bad day. And that anger can spread creating a depressing environment. Its important to be able to calm someone down, this will stop them losing their job.

• methods
  • divert attention from problem
  • calm solution to problem, if problem quickly solveable
  • offer a break, convince person to take break early
  • offer to talk if over
    • reduce counter attacks that may raise anger
  • find the source of anger
    • if you are the source of anger and its a minor problem, be sorry but try to remind them that they could lose their job in future
    • conflict between two people, try not to confront them both in public with a lack of info, suggest a possible solution to each person or remind them what really matters
    • if you are angry dont lash out, being angry will reduce performance and make it more difficult to solve to situation without more unwanted trouble

taking ideas from workers

• if complaints try to clarify specifics
  • if its personal or conflict with anouther specific person/group, ask for permission to ask others first
  • dont pry to much, or may get exclued from the problem
• get opinions of the problem from other workers
• if small solve the problem yourself, otherwise take to management

persuading people to do something

It can be diffcult to convince someone to do a task, even if that task needs to be done for that individuals good.

• persuade them over telling them

  espically effective if you are younger or if you have the same/lower position, as people stick to their pride

  • ask them to do it
  • start the task yourself
    • this way if the person is afraid to do the task they can follow your lead
    • shows that you dont hold yourself high enougth to not do the task

• change persons perception of the task

  • give hints on how to complete the task easier
    • avoid too much info, seem like a rude know it all or confuse them
  • make the task seem easier this is to avoid an overwhelming hill, giving someone a list of long/difficult problems is very likely to de-motivate
    • break up the task into smaller manageable chunks
    • progessively disclosure advanced parts of the task
  • track progression
  • share the tasks purpose
  • rewards
    • highlight the process over the reward

    • avoid rewards separate from the activity itself

      this can reduce a persons desire to do something for the sake of of doing it, but can be effective if the activity is infrequent and boring

raise motivation

• avoid pessimisum
  • encouraging statements on how things may get better
  • try and instead get people to work together to come up with a solution
• own motivation
  • motivating yourself, just getting a jolt of motivation is unlikely to work in the long term
  • external motivation: add an external factor that makes it harder to not do what you need to do, EG commit with money or tell people
  • discipline: strong mind and conviction, setting a minimum standard for what you have to do, EG always get up after alarm clock

this article is incomplete and still has improvements to be made